Well hey there!
I’m Amanda.
And if you’re finding yourself here, you’re likely wondering about those little yellow happy strips. I’m so happy to have connected and look forward to sharing more with you!I’m often known as the cow lady — but I proudly sport the titles of wife and mother too! I have a precious 11 month old boy and I’ve been with the love of my life for almost 15 years.And this — this is my testimony.
For as long as I can remember, my mind had always been on overdrive.. my engine always a moment away from overheating. Pretty much total squirrel brain. I was a happy person, but mentally exhausted 24/7.Once I got pregnant it only got worse. I would be in the middle of a sentence and forget what I was talking about. I would get a full night’s sleep only to be tired an hour after waking up. This constant tension between my shoulder blades never went away.Everyone called it “pregnancy brain” because the hormones shift your biology. Then once you give birth your hormones drastically shift once again.. then it’s just jokingly labeled “postpartum brain or mom brain.” Too often I felt broken.. defeated.
The world was heavy on my shoulders and I often felt like my chest was caving in. I couldn’t get this feeling to stop.
Though, I never really told anyone… I never explained to anyone why I would hide away from events and stay home. It was too overwhelming. Then at my postpartum checkup my doc put the labels on my chart. I became just another statistic.My racing thoughts and feelings took me over full force. The imbalanced mood swings were just a part of me now. Someone who was always happy, always smiling. She said my hormones just needed more time to rebalance. I didn’t know how long it would take.. she said sometimes it took over a year.For 10 months I struggled with it. I had many good days, but those bad days really took me out of it.
I felt like a horrible mother. I felt like a horrible wife.
Though, I never discussed it with others.. cause there weren’t really words that I could put to how I felt.Until one day I came across.. something. Something new. Something promising. Something that had never been done before.“Give it 5 minutes. Many have felt a difference that quick.” Yeah.. okay. Sure, I was skeptical! Who wouldn’t be?But then something happened while I sat there waiting for the promise of all the testimonies I had read.
For the first time in a long time.. my thoughts weren’t racing anymore.
This calmness came over me like a warm blanket wrapped around me in the winter. That pit in my chest began to lift. I wasn’t worried about the stress of life, I wasn’t worried about my mile long list of things I needed to get done. In a world where everyone is “go, go, go” all the time, I was relaxed.Then the tension between my shoulders faded. Throughout the rest of the day that tension never came back. Things that had caused irritation at the beginning of the day I was now able to brush off. I was able to stay calm in all situations and I wasn’t snapping at anyone. And while cooking dinner I began to sing and dance with my son.
Complete happiness had washed over me. I felt GOOD!
And that’s where it brings me today. Back to happy. Back to me, the me I remember! ..and back to so much more.It wasn’t a pill..
It wasn’t a drink..
Or some patch to slap on my skin..It was so simple that I could keep it in my back pocket for an afternoon pick me up vs. that $5 coffee from Starbucks.. which who are we kidding, no one needs all that caffeine and sugar anyway.